Sex and Relationship Therapy

What is sex therapy and how could it help me?

Sex therapy is a specialized form of traditional psychotherapy in which people with sexual health concerns engage in a professional relationship with a therapist knowledgeable about such issues. Client(s) and therapist work together to discuss sexual problems, formulate a treatment plan, and set realistic goals while addressing barriers that arise. Sex therapy typically features some educational component and may involve exercises that are of a relational, cognitive, behavioral, and/or emotional nature. Sessions may be conducted with individuals or people in relationships. Ideally, progress toward goals is achieved and overall sexual and emotional health is improved. Please note that no physical touch or sexual relationship of any kind occurs between patient and therapist. 

Sexual concerns may stem from medical, psychological, relational, and social issues. Some concerns that Sarah treats:

  • Low desire or changes in libido

  • Relationship problems arising from desire discrepancies

  • Sexual communication problems

  • Pain with sex, pelvic floor pain or pelvic floor dysfunction

  • Vulvodynia or vaginismus

  • Challenges with arousal and/or orgasm

  • Out of control sexual behavior/sexual compulsivity (also called “sex addiction”)

  • Sexuality across the lifespan, such as after baby or in the menopausal years

  • Sexuality related to health conditions, such as cancer, chronic illness, and disability

  • Erectile concerns

  • Delayed or premature ejaculation

  • Sexual shame or guilt around sex

  • Challenges related to avoidance and lack of communication

  • Sex and genital phobias (‘Genophobia’ or ‘Erotophobia’)

  • Concerns around gender identity and expression

  • Challenges regarding relationship configuration/open relationships

Therapy is affirming to gender and sexually diverse individuals and relationships:

  • LGBTQ+

  • Asexuality

  • People with intersex conditions

  • Gender dysphoria

  • Kink and BDSM

  • Exploring the possibility of opening a monogamous relationship

  • Navigating open relationships, polyamory, and ethical/consensual nonmonogamy

    A word about relationship challenges…

    Conflict, frustration, resentment, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness can all intrude on the relationship when sex becomes a sore spot. Sex therapists sometimes say that when sex is healthy, it only plays a 15% role in the overall relationship. However, when sex becomes unhealthy, it can play a much more significant role— 60%, 70%, or greater. In clinical practice, I often see this firsthand as sex can have the power to derail what otherwise is a strong and secure relationship. When I work with couples, I often get the question, “Can we work on other problems in our relationship- unrelated to sex?” The answer is yes! Understanding the deeper patterns that drive conflict and tension is often a crucial aspect of improving the overall relationship as well as the sexual relationship. We don’t just talk about surface-level solutions, we get to the root causes of dissatisfaction and rebuild the relationship from the inside out. Supported by evidence-based models such as Emotion-Focused Therapy, Attachment Theory, Gottman Method, and boundaries work, you will have the opportunity to develop skills to improve communication, deepen connection, and share a more meaningful relationship together.